


DEATH

by Imandra_Pipkin



Series: Shadowhunter Tarot [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), malec - Fandom
Genre: Character Development, Growing Up, M/M, Reviews, Shadowhunters Tarot Challenge No. 2 - DEATH, changing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:56:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23142805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imandra_Pipkin/pseuds/Imandra_Pipkin
Summary: Alec Lightwood went through many important changes in his life. Some were so crucial that his life could be divided into 'before' and 'after'.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Shadowhunter Tarot [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1718071
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23
Collections: Shadowhunters Tarot Challenge





	DEATH

**Author's Note:**

> A skeletal hand reaches up from the darkness to curl its thin fingers around the stem of a beautiful white rose. The fragile petals begin to disintegrate, fading and sweeping away into the breeze.
> 
> Death can be a terrifying card to receive but very rarely does it signify the physical death of a loved one. While this card does symbolize transformation and rebirth, that growth can only come from the loss and death of something else. That can be a painful process whether it’s the end of a job, a relationship, or even a part of ourselves. 
> 
> Death is an inevitable part of the cycle of life, and in that, we can take some comfort. Whatever we lose isn’t meant to live any longer. It has come to the natural end of its cycle, and there is a rightness in that.
> 
> When this card appears, make sure you have support. Take care of yourselves. The dying is going to hurt. It’s going to suck. But you will come out the other end with the space to grow into something better.

In the mundane world it was said that the body undergoes a change every seven years.  
With Alexander Gideon Lightwood it wasn't necessarily physical changes but rather incisive events that determined the course of his life.  
The first, most important event that made him what he was now until the end of his life was his rune ceremony. Born as nephilim, the angelic rune on his forearm made him a full-fledged shadowhunter.  
The second event that had a far-reaching impact on his life because it not only affected him but was made as a joint decision was him becoming a parabatai. And he almost didn't attend the ceremony back then because he was convinced he had feelings for Jace. He was glad to have spoken to Izzy about it.  
Izzy was always on his side, she always had his back, accepting him as he was. He could always rely on one thing: Izzy's support. She was the only one who knew what was really going on with him.  
At first he hadn't really understood why he wasn't interested in girls like the other boys he grew up with and trained with, who didn't seem to know any other topic.  
He attributed it to the fact that he had no time for these kind of things. Until one day he realized that he was very interested, just not in the girls, but rather in his male fellows.  
Like every teenager, he was flooded with more hormones than he could handle. But unlike the other teenagers he wasn't allowed to explore, to experience, to act on his sexuality, to fool around a bit, or even more than just a bit like the other boys and girls.  
For him it was the most normal thing in the world to think of another boy's touch. But that was obviously not the case for everyone else, he realized when the first homophobic taunts were made. They were not directed towards him, because only Izzy knew his secret, but it testified to the general attitude of his comrades. The older they got, the rougher the manners and language between the boys.  
His fantasies got a face as his family grew. With the arrival of Jace, he developed his first serious crush, which made Alec more aware of his otherness and forced him deeper and deeper into the closet.  
Born and raised in the New York Institute as the eldest son of the heads of the institute, he felt the constant pressure very clearly. On the part of his parents, he was given tremendously high expectations on the path of life, which presupposed nothing more than perfection.  
He felt under constant observation from all sides. Not just from his parents, whose critical gaze he was used to, who kept admonishing him to be better than everyone else, more reasonable, as befitted a future leader.  
He also seemed to be in the crosshairs of the other Shadowhunters both in the institute and in Idris, for various reasons.  
When his parents spread the rumor in Idris that he wanted to get married soon, he could not save himself from offers. Without considering his own desires and dreams, it was simply assumed that he would marry early and father many children to fulfill his duty to the nephilim.  
Alec loved children. He would gladly be a father. Just the thought of needing a woman for that purpose wasn't exactly appealing to him.  
And now he was facing what was probably his last significant event that would change his entire life. In his mind, he reviewed his previous life; recalled each of his successes, his failures, his regrets.  
He stood in front of the altar and saw the love of his life approaching him down the aisle. Whatever doubts he had in the past with major changes in his life, he would never regret kissing Magnus at his wedding. Leaving Lydia standing at the altar was the right decision. He had already resigned himself to a loveless marriage and a dreary life for the sake of his family honor and to be able to keep the institute.  
He hadn't expected to get what he wanted until Magnus came along. Never in his life he felt so happy, so content.  
Magnus was the best thing that happened to him in his life, he was quite magical, beautiful, generous, caring, a foresighted and respected high warlock.  
To witness what his boyfriend could achieve with his magic didn't make him warm and fuzzy, but rather hot and hard.  
The change from being his boyfriend to being his fiancé and now to become his husband, was probably the most exciting in his life, as well as the one that he most impatiently expected.  
But maybe this moment wasn't the most valuable, magnificent event of his life, their life. Starting a family also meant a change, a development. Alexander Gideon Lightwood-Bane was more than ready for this adventure.

**Author's Note:**

> For suggestions and complaints you can find me at  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/Imandras)  
> or  
> [tumblr](https://imandras.tumblr.com)
> 
> #SaveShadowhunters ➰  
> #Shadowhunters 💕


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